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Meditating father with his toddler and infant daughters watching him

Whole Dads. Whole Lives.

Our identity instantly evolves years in a matter of seconds the moment our miracle arrives, and we’re never the same again. It’s terrifying, exhilarating, and rewarding all at once to redefine what “being yourself” really means as we learn to raise a human without a user manual of any kind, suddenly becoming reliant on gut instinct, community, and countless “experts.”  Constant change is our new normal.  So, how do we find time for Faith, Health, and Community when every ounce of our energy goes into supporting and growing our new Family?

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The Whole Dad Project

Becoming a Dad starts a lifelong, never ending roller coaster ride, inducing anxiety, excitement, and fear with ups, downs, twists, and turns in every moment. From day one, we begin to learn new things about ourselves and our family, while, in the process, we begin to lose sight of the core identity that has defined our lives to this point.  We begin to encounter new challenges and experience new emotions with no direction.


When my first daughter was born, I had to learn what it truly meant to be selfless, and I'm still learning every day. However, I also had to re-learn how and when to be selfish, taking care of myself so I can be around for years to come as I help my kids grow.  The two opposing forces continuously bring me to question my own strength and resilience as the thoughts swirl at literally all hours of the day and night.  I am SO tired.  Can I really do this?  When will I sleep again?  Do I really have time to pray or go to church?  How am I going to work coherently during the day?  Can we afford that? Is it right to hang out with friends and leave my wife to fly solo with the kids? 

The questions are non-stop, and as men, we're problem solvers. So, we're always thinking about how to get everything done. But, the truth is we can't, and learning to live with that mindset is tough.  Yet we're not alone.  We start to meet other new Dads around us.  We start to notice that we can survive on only a few, or sometimes zero, hours of sleep (with lots of caffeine of course).  We begin to realize that, even though we are the center of our very needy child's universe, we also have to juggle finances, a home, a job, self-care, and countless relationships, including the most important one with our partners.


There's no right way to be a Dad.  But, we're also more than a Dad - we're Whole people with needs, wants, and dreams.  How do we live a Whole life when every ounce of energy seemingly goes to everyone but ourselves?  I don't have that answer, and no one does because there is no single answer.  But, if we want to live a Whole life, we can start by being a part of this supportive community of Whole Dads, learning together how to redefine our identities and cherish every minute of this never-ending roller coaster ride of life in Faith, Family, Health and Community.

Read further to learn, share, encourage, and grow.  Then teach us more by joining in with your own Whole Dad stories!

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